


the memory of your hand in mine

by isloremipsumafterall



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 17:24:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5464784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isloremipsumafterall/pseuds/isloremipsumafterall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn wakes up without Rey there, adjusts, but continues to miss her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the memory of your hand in mine

He wakes up reaching out his hand but finds nothing, it’s not until hours later that the General – Leia, as he remembers Han saying in a soft voice – tells him that Rey has gone.

 

“Gone? Gone where,” He jerks up and his back spasms in pain, still not fully healed and he has to force himself to breath because it’s like nothing he’s ever felt before.

 

The pain though that Rey would just leave like that might be worse.

 

“She went to find Luke,” Leia says after he’s settled down again, her hand resting on his arm, “She’ll be back.”

 

Finn doesn’t say anything, just lets the nurses fuss around him and thinks of Rey; hoping she’s okay out there.

 

~~

 

His new job is helping tactical filter out the information on what’s true and not true based on his knowledge of the First Order; it makes him feel useful and he dives into it to forget other things.

 

BB-8 and Poe come find him often, Poe usually brings food and enjoys making him try out the different kinds – anything’s better than stormtropper gruel – and laughs when Finn makes faces at a specific spice.

 

“This is awful,” Finn tells him.

 

“You’ll get used to it,” Poe replies, grinning and slapping him on the arm.

 

Quietly Finn hopes he’ll get a chance to get used to it alongside Rey whenever she gets back.

 

~~

 

Most nights he dreams he’s still in the forest, watching Rey be thrown back and her body making a sickening thud against the tree as he screams her name or he dreams he never left the First Order, made to watch Jakku burn like so many planets before.

 

Some nights however the dreams are quiet, like there’s someone reaching out to him, just barely there but comforting enough.

 

He wakes up with his hand tingling at his side, likes pins and needles but something more and wonders how Rey’s training is going.

 

~~

 

His back has fully healed but there are points where Finn can still feel the rush of heat against it, smell the searing of flesh and just remember Rey calling out his name.

 

It’s been nearly two months since he’s seen her but it feels longer and he’s astonished that in such a short amount of time he misses her that much.

 

BB-8 rolls beside him in the hallway, chirping and Finn nods his head like he knows what the robot is saying but he isn’t Poe and he certainly isn’t Rey with her intuitive knowledge of machines.

 

BB-8 bumps into his leg, tilting that head of his up and issues a low chirp.

 

“I miss her too.” Finn says, because that suddenly feels appropriate and better to say out loud, he grins at BB-8, trying to get into a better mood, “Let’s just hope the next time we see her we don’t have to blow up another base.”

 

BB-8 beeps, something that might pass as agreement and they continue on.

 

~~

 

“What’s the Force like?” He asks Leia one night where they’re both at the command station and looking over plans.

 

Leia pauses, “It’s hard to describe, it’s a feeling, a sensation, but so much more. It ties you to the world around you, to your friends, your…to your loved ones.”

 

Finn feels a pit of guilt for bringing it up suddenly and reminding the General what she had lost but she looks up at him and smiles crookedly.

 

“It means they never really leave you either, impressions of them get left behind with the Force to live on.”

 

Finn pauses, considering if he should ask on about it.

 

“Do you think Rey’s okay?”

 

“I think she’s just fine.” Leia stares at him knowingly, “I think she misses you too.”

 

Finn ducks his head to hide his embarrassed but growing smile, mumbling his thanks.

 

~~

 

He starts collecting machine parts in his room, he has no idea what they do but chances are Rey does and she’d probably like them.

 

It’s something to show her along with everything else he’s done when she gets back; he can’t wait to see himself what she’s learned.

 

Especially with that lightsaber.

 

It didn’t feel right in his hands but he bets that with Rey it fit like a glove and she wielded it perfectly; he regrets that he had blacked out in pain and missed seeing her in action with it, beating Kylo Ren.

 

He practices his own firing with a blaster when he gets the chance to; at least when Rey gets back he’ll be even better to help her in the Falcon.

 

~~

 

Poe wakes him up from one of his nightmares, where he tried to grab Rey’s hand but couldn’t in time and she dies before his eyes.

 

“You’re going to want to see this,” Poe tells him, throwing his old jacket – now Finn’s – in Finn’s face with a grin.

 

“What?” Finn rubs the sleep from his eyes, slipping out of the bed and nearly trips over BB-8 who’s going in circles around him.

 

“Come on,” Poe says, pulling him out of his room and down the corridor, as they go Finn can hear the noises of other droids and what sounds Leia talking to somebody who responds in a guttural noise.

 

Like a Wookie would.

 

Finn freezes for a second and then bolts down the hall, tearing past Poe who begins to laugh.

 

He gets into the room to see Chewbacca and Leia hugging, R2D2 in the corner trilling and there’s a man he doesn’t recognize standing there.

 

“Finn!” Rey’s voice, excited to see him, cuts through the air and she tears out from where she was hiding behind the stranger, running towards him and throwing her arms around him. “You’re okay.” She whispers gratefully into his shoulder.

 

He laughs, hugging her back tightly, “Course I am, you got me out there like I got you out of there. Gotta have each other’s backs right?”

 

She steps away but as she does her hand reaches out to takes his, slipping in and her fingers curl around his own, reminding him of the nights where he felt something else was there.

 

“Don’t leave me behind next time,” Finn tells her, his voice wavering between seriousness and a joke.

 

“Promise.” She says, squeezing his hand.

 

“Now come on,” He tugs on her hand, “Show me what fancy Force powers you’ve got.”

 

They race down the hall, hands still together and it feels more right than anything else Finn knows of in the galaxy.

 

 


End file.
